Adult Family Mediation / Conflict Coaching

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About

Nicole Lance, JD, CSA

With hundreds of hours of mediation case and conflict coaching experience, Nicole brings expert communication and negotiation skills to the table so that families can transform difficult conversations into greater understanding and workable agreements. Her experience also includes providing separate one-on-one conflict coaching services when mediation is neither desired nor practical.


As a certified Senior Advisor (CSA), she has relevant content knowledge that assists parties in making fully informed decisions as parents age.  


Before becoming a certified mediator and Senior Advisor, Nicole practiced business law over the course of a 15-year period. 


Nicole's credentials, training, and experience as a mediator starting 2020 include:


  • Certified Family Mediator (National Assoc. of Certified Mediators)
  • Certified Senior Advisor (Society of Certified Senior Advisors)
  • Advanced Family Mediation Training (University of Wisconsin, Sue Bronson)
  • Advanced Elder Mediation Training (Elder Decisions, C. Thorpe/A. Kardasis)
  • Advanced Elder Mediation Training (Mediate.com University, Dana Curtis)
  • Mediating High Conflict Disputes Training (High Conflict Institute, Bill Eddy)
  • Civil Mediation Training  (Mediate.com University) 
  • Conflict Coaching Certificate (Community Boards of S.F.)
  • Volunteer Mediator, Small Claims Mediation Panel (San Mateo, CA) ('21 - '23)


Continuing Education:

  • Negotiating When Parties have Diverse, Deeply Held Convictions (Certificate, PONx Harvard Law '23)
  • Introduction to Supported Decision-Making webinar (Silicon Valley Bar Assoc. '23)


Positions include:

  • Chair/Creator of ACR Task Force for Elder Mediation - University Collaboration ('21-'22)
  • Trustee of Moldaw Residences, an assisted living facility in Palo Alto, CA ('22-'23)


Professional memberships include:

  • American Bar Association - Dispute Resolution Section
  • Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) - Elder Section
  • Silicon Valley Bar Association
  • American Society on Aging


Major presentations include:

  • Peninsula synagogue presentations "Considering Senior Living: An Adult Family Mediator's Perspective" ('23)
  • Family Caregiver Alliance Webinar "Families with Aging Parents: Difficult Conversations Just Got Easier" ('20)
  • Avenidas Fall-Winter Town Hall Series, "Transformative Conversations About Finances, Care, and Driving" ('21)

 

Publications include:

  • "Moving from Elder Frustration to Family Redemption: Book Review and Suggestions for How Elder Mediators Can Help Improve Family Outcomes"       https://www.mediate.com/articles/lance-elder-frustration.cfm
  • "Clients and Aging Parents: Elder Mediation and Other Tools for Navigating Family Conflict," CSA Journal, No. 84 (2021)

              https://progressally6yogf8hc32ioroi.s3.amazonaws.com/list/Journal/84/lance.pdf


Nicole has a B.A. from U.C.L.A. (College of Honors) and a law degree from U.C. Davis.


And on a more personal note, why I do this work:

Over a lifetime, I have spent considerable time with people who think and act in vastly different ways, so I am naturally curious about the unique (and similar) manner in which people communicate, make decisions, and solve problems. I am also a "people person" who LOVES listening to each person's unique story, especially those of older people who grew up in a different world, with so much wisdom to share.


Beyond my natural curiosity and interest in people,  I too have been a caregiver who has dealt with family difficulty involving my own aging parents. During that time of crisis, I wish I would have had someone to walk alongside me, to offer relevant experience and insights, to help me clarify what was going on, what I could do something about, and what was out of my control to influence. 


Perhaps most of all I wish someone could have helped me have better quality conversations with family members.  My personal experience informs my approach in helping people now.  

Disclaimer:  Offered services are not a substitute for appropriate medical, legal, financial or other professional advice. Though Nicole is a licensed attorney, she does not currently practice law. Nothing herein should be construed as legal advice. Copyright Nicole Lance 2022. All rights reserved.


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